My Poor Mother...

I love my parents. I seriously do. Mom and Dad I love you. I e-mailed my mom about what I am feeling and was kind of pouring my heart out as any daughter does to her mom- mainly about my homesickness and such and this is what she wrote me back:

"I sensed that you are homesick from the last e-mail, but I told myself that I was reading between the lines again and figured I took it all wrong. "

So I apparently my feelings and thoughts are all over the place, so I will try one more time to more coherently convey what I'm feeling. First of all, I am very homesick. While many wonderful people have dreams in their hearts to learn to live in a foreign culture, it seriously just is not one of mine. I am such an American girl, and I'm completely ok with that. I'm not ashamed of my American-ness. I miss the familiarity of home, the people, school, giving tours on the Arizona campus, Chipotle, the Joint (yes, Megan, Megan and Kelsey this is a shout out to you), my car, not being the only blonde in and entire city- all that jazz. I long every day for everyone back in Ohio and Arizona with a longing I've never known.

So yes, I'm homesick, but I'm excited because this experience is what I have been praying for for a year. Last summer at my STP in Colorado, I learned a lot, loved my team, absolutely loved my job in Food Services, loved Colorado- I loved everything about it. The only thing missing is that Colorado was very much in my comfort zone, and I began to wonder what it would look like to be forced to depend on God as my refuge- like for real- I'm not talking about claiming God as my refuge because of school stress, car trouble, or whatever else I worry about- I'm talking much bigger. So I began praying that God would take me somewhere where I had no choice but to depend on him- that he would scare me. And he totally is. Japan is not comfortable for me at all. My brain is on constant overdrive trying to figure out what is going on around me. I feel like I can't truly be myself because the reality is that I can't relate with Japanese students the way I would relate to Americans. Their world views, senses of humor, and values are different- which show the need for learning what it is to find my identity in Christ while at the same time being all things for all people for the sake of the gospel.

So that's the reality, and not only did God answer my prayer to get scared for him, he is also revealing himself in ways that I know would not be possible in a more comfortable summer. Jesus is seriously not an American, and the gospel is relevant outside of my American Christian bubble. Seeing the ways that God is softening the hearts of the students, and the ways that he is reveling himself to them is showing me just how small my view the gospel is. So seeing the relevancy of Jesus in the lives of people who are not raised taking that for granted has been amazing for me.

The members of our California team arrived last week. We are all extremely different, and it would be sweet to learn how to tap into each others strengths and cover each other's weaknesses this summer. I genuinely love them all, and I'm so excited to get to live life with them this summer:)

Once again, lots of text- but thanks for your prayers, comments, and interest in my time here in Japan:)

The Art of Stretching

So this is late, but the picture is our bus ride from the airport-back when we were so naive...

So this should not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me, but the fact that I have had Starbucks coffee 3 times in the last week has been one of the biggest highlights of this trip. Even better, I can order it myself. I begin this entry with this fact because it is safe to say that I am being stretched out of my comfort zone, and the simple fact that I can retreat into America-land for a tall soy latte gives me unspeakable comfort.

Let me just say I do not understand Japan. I don't understand why people will be offended when I don't finish all of my rice, why the way I eat with chopsticks is so funny, why we have to separate the trash into combustibles/non-combustibles/plastics/ and glass, and why it is a crime if you put a piece of plastic in the non-combustible can. I'm constantly being told to either talk more quietly or to move to the left- most of the time by Ariel, who is just as much of a foreigner as I am- albeit a more considerate visitor of Japan whom I love (Sorry Ariel).

While this may to the untrained ear sound like complaining, in a weird way I am grateful. I am grateful because this experience is probably the most humbling of my entire life. I am so clueless, and I look like a fool pretty much all of my waking moments. It is serving to teach me how foolish I am when I choose to depend on myself for direction as opposed to trusting the God of the universe with my life. So yeah, humility and the ability to laugh at yourself I am learning are key to survival in this performance-oriented society.

Also, God is working in the hearts of the students here. One girl who I was spending time with last week shared that she enjoys reading the Bible because no matter what her circumstances are, she always feels peace. And I'm thinking in my own mind that that is the peace of God that transcends all understanding. How cool! I have genuinely loved all of the time I have spent with the students here. They are so kind to us crazy foreigners, and we have had sweet conversations already.

So yesterday, Ariel and I were given the task with a few hours notice that we were in charge of the English lesson and game at the Shabe. We were slightly overwhelmed, and despite the fact that we are not very creative, we pulled something together and the students ran with it. It was pretty sweet to be entrusted with even a small task, but feeling that our efforts were useful for the ministry activities here. We had the students do commercials for the camping trip we are taking next week, and they did great. Check out the videos!

So this is a lot of text, and I congratulate anyone who made it this far. Thanks for your continued prayers and support.

I'm turning Japanese...well not really...

Hello! Well, I made it safely to Tokyo. We got in on Sunday night and then had 3 days of orientation, and then we arrived Wednesday night to our new home for the summer! Ariel and I are staying with an amazing Nav Staff couple, Kyle and Jennifer, and our schedule is pretty flexible as we wait for the rest of our team to arrive from California. Since arriving on Wednesday, we met some of the B.E.S.T. Club students for soccer and dinner, and we also went to our first Shabe which is the B.E.S.T. Club's large group meeting. Shabe comes from the Japanese word Shabetanito (probably spelled wrong) which means "everyone speaks," and literally, everyone who comes is challenged with both the use of the English language as well as tough discussion. We discussed Father's Day, and it broke my heart to hear the students open up about their troubled lives at home. A common experience in Japanese families is that children really do not know their fathers because they work so much, and then they come home in many cases to drink to excess to deal with stress. Then they put the same pressure to succeed on their children. I was floored by the openness of these students to share their lives with me as we had just met. Please pray for our conversations as we continue to hang out, and that they would continue to feel safe with us "Setters" and that we'd be able to continue to grow in our relationships with each other.

Going back a few days, the staff in our orientation emphasized all three days the importance of abiding in Christ this summer and then trusting that by doing so we will be bearing lasting fruit here in Japan. That totally resonated in my heart because I've been studying that concept for over a year now- and pretty much everyone I know knows that John 15 is my favorite chapter in the Bible. Out of abiding in Christ, I am able to trust that God's purposes will be fulfilled- how sweet is that?

So yeah, this is the first time in two and a half days that Ariel and I aren't hanging out with Japanese girls. We've had overnight guests the last 2 days, and we have been shopping, learning any Japanese we can, and hanging out and really just being girly that entire time. I wonder when they'll realize we aren't really that cool- hopefully we have at least a few more days to dispel the myth that we're the "cool" Americans.

That's about it- I'm a terrible blogger, and I promise to be more faithful with this:) If anybody reading this has a spare moment please e-mail me- I love hearing from the people I love at home:)